Never Make Fun of a Time Lord in a Skirt
by doctorrosetyler
Summary: In which Rose makes fun of the Doctor's outfit and regrets it soon thereafter. Just a small fic to get my creative juices flowing again.


Never Make Fun of a Time Lord in a Skirt

By: doctorrosetyler

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. Sadly.

Summary: In which Rose makes fun of the Doctor's outfit and regrets it soon thereafter. Just a small fic to get my creative juices flowing again.

How he convinced her to agree to this, she would never know. Impersonating a slave in ancient Egypt was hell, and she'd only been at it for a few hours. The clothes the Doctor had given her covered her less than her skimpiest bikini. She knew her skin would be lobster red by the time they got back to the TARDIS. She only hoped the dermal regenerator would work on sunburn.

The hot sands blew into Rose's eyes as she pushed the giant stone block up the incline. Her lips were cracked and dry, but her hands were worse. They literally hurt from being so dry.

"Doctor," she called. He turned slightly, rare sweat dripping down his forehead as he pulled at the rope, trying to drag the stone faster up the hill.

"Yeah, Rose? Are you okay? I only need a few more minutes to get a good reading on our lovely overseer. We'll catch the alien in no time!" He said, trying to raise her spirits.

"Yeah, okay, I got that. I'm fine, It's just…my hands are really dry. This bloody pyramid stone is making my skin crack. So, do you have any hand cream or moisturizer in that dimensionally transcendent…what is that skirt thing you're wearing?"

He looked at her, offended. "This is not a skirt, Rose Tyler! It is the proper slave uniform for an ancient Egyptian! It is made of linen."

She looked at him incredulously. "So, if it isn't a skirt, what is it?"

He glared at her. "It's a…kilt."

She snorted with laughter. "Really? I don't hear any bagpipes or see any heather. It's an ancient Egyptian skirt, is what it is."

His ego slightly bruised, the Doctor began to tug on the rope once again, purposefully ignoring her request for lotion. Rose continued to push the stone. A few minutes later, her skin screaming, she decided to try again.

"Doctor, are you sure you don't have any lotion in that kilt?" she said sweetly, trying to get on his good side again.

He huffed, still acting offended, and reached in the inner pocket. A few moments later he pulled out a small bottle of lotion. Rose could practically feel the soothing moisture on her hands. She reached for it, but he pulled it out of her grasp. She couldn't leave her place behind the stone to wrestle it from him either, she was the only brake for this giant stone.

"Ah, ah, ah, Rose. What do dry humans say when they need…moisture?"

Oh, surely he wasn't going there.

"Hold out your hand and say it." He said with a sadistic grin, opening the bottle and squirting a little on his hands and rubbing it in, making small appreciative sounds in his throat. Bastard.

She reached for it, but he snatched it away again. "What do we say?"

She glared at him. "No."

He shook his head. "Shame. You'll just have to be dry."

Oh, sometimes he irritated her so!

"Fine!" She yelled, holding out her hand. He positioned the bottle, waiting for her next words. His left eyebrow raised slightly, a small smirk formed on his lips. Oh, she was so getting him back for this!

"Moisturize me." She said, defeated.

"Your wish is my command, Cassandra!" He laughed and squirted a generous heap of lotion onto her hands. They instantly felt better, and with her concentration restored, she began to plot her revenge.

He was going to get it for that.

A/N: Hello, lovely readers! I am back from my ridiculously long sabbatical. I am so sorry for leaving you guys hanging on my fics for so long! I have been having a hard time lately and my muse was kind of dying. It's back, though, and I fully intend to finish the fics I have started and write some new ones! This one was just a warm-up fic to get my juices flowing again. Thank you all for your patience and continuing to read and review my stuff, despite my epic updating fail. Let me know what you think!

With love,

doctorrosetyler


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